Of course, she’ll be back tomorrow if all goes well and I have my chemo session. She better behave herself, along with her Parker! Yes, it won’t be long until the return of Lady P.
I truly hope that the health blip I experienced last week doesn’t affect my blood test results today, as I really need to have my chemo session tomorrow. No one enjoys chemo, but it’s essential. With only two sessions left, missing one so close to the finish line would be devastating. So, if everyone could say a prayer and wish me luck, I’d really appreciate it.
Honestly, I’m not sure what more I can do to stay healthy. I’ve followed my management plan, eaten healthily (when I can), and taken all the prescribed medications. Maybe I could have slowed down a bit, but we all make decisions based on what feels right at the time—everyone does that.
Lately, I’ve started to look more closely at my physical appearance. My once thick hair is now quite thin in places, my skin seems to have aged and taken on a strange colour—one I can’t quite describe, but it’s certainly not radiant or healthy-looking. Generally, my body feels worn out. I suppose, considering I’ve been ill since last September, that’s to be expected.
Cancer takes many things away from you; in my case, it feels like it has taken away my future. But does living with cancer truly rob you of your future? None of us knows from the moment we take our first breath to that last breath, which might not even be due to cancer. We must learn to live, but the challenge is to face those difficulties head-on rather than ignore them. We all have our own mountains to climb, no matter their size.
As it says in the New Testament, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
I personally want to enjoy my life in as peaceful an environment as possible. I crave no drama; I’m just going to let life happen, drifting day by day and finding joy in the little things.
Stepping back from certain aspects of life was obviously not as easy as I first imagined. Upon reflection, I believe my working pattern made me quite institutionalised over the years. When you’re used to routines and structure, the absence of them can cause anxiety. So, did I just end up rebuilding those routines last time I tried to take a step back?
The past can’t be reclaimed; it’s the decisions I make today that will shape my tomorrows.
Let’s keep moving forward together. 